Tuesday, June 17, 2008

But I'm not a little bitch.



This could be close to my last blog post on this blog ever. That's right. It's gonna be shutting down.

And getting replaced by something much, much bigger and better.

You'll just have to wait around and keep checking back to see what that much bigger and better actually is.

Anyways, so I know the picture is blurry, but that's because I'm going so fast. So fast that the only person who had the time to snap my photo was the the person with the good reflexes but the crappy camera. Way to go, kung-fu cameraperson with the disposable Kodak.

This race was a chance for me to test out my speed and swallow a little intensity pill before the big Ironman on Sunday the 22nd. Part of me thought it might be stupid to go race like a madman the week before Ironman Coeur D' Alene, and the other part of me thought, "What the hell...remember the days of the Bud Light series and the retro Scott Tinley and Dave Scott who raced every weekend, you little bitch."

So I raced.

Entering into the elite wave, which was the first of the day, I smeared Greyhound Juice all over my body as a test and threw my B70 Helix on. The swim was a bit ho-hum for me coming out, and I didn't really snap into action until about halfway through. Sometimes that happens, and it makes me think I need to warm-up longer, or just smear some freaking hair on my chest before the starting pistol. Geez.

Swim: 20:55, 11th overall

The 40K bike was, as was the case in my previous two races, friggin fantastic. I smoked the entire field, except the ultimate winner of the race and my good friend Roger Thompson (who must've had more air pumped into his tires than me). Thanks to Specialized for the Transition Pro.

Bike: 0:56:58, 2nd overall.

I came out of the 10K run knowing I had to put some time into Roger, and completely oblivious that there was another guy behind me who didn't start in the same wave as me, but had swam like 18 minutes and change. I think he rode a JetSki. I ran a 38:13 (yes, the course was slightly long), ended up with a total time of 1:59:19, won my division, and go tthird overall - beaten by Roger and some hairy Grizzly Adams looking dude who somehow swam despite all that hair on his face (Jeffrey Hendersen).

For my physical prowess, I received a medal and a yellow flashlight made in China. Damn, why did I not stick to tennis.

This was one of the bigger races in the Northwest race series, so I was happy with a 3rd and now I'm resting my legs for Ironman.

Hey, a huge thanks to all the sponsors listed on the right side of this blog. Please check out their pages and give them some business. If I had to give a particular shout out to anyone in particular for this race, it would be TN sunglasses, because I don't want to tell you how many people I rode by out of the first transition who were wiping fog off their glasses from the swim water. You can check out the TN's on the link over there, somewhere.

Cheers,
Ben

P.S. Remember, could be the last post. The big announcement is getting close now.

Friday, June 13, 2008

How to Stay Warm and Tingly During the Ironman Coeur D' Alene Cold Water Swim



I swam for about 35 minutes in Lake Coeur D' Alene at 53 degrees today, and did a little experiment. This stuff called "Greyhound Juice" is purported as a highly potent warming salve, traditionally used by cyclists to warm their legs in cold weather.

Well, Greg down at Greyhound Juice in Portland, Oregon shoved a few samples my way to try out, and they arrived this morning.

Being a highly scientific research-minded individual, prior to my icy swim I smeared my entire Right leg with Greyhound Juice, and let the Left leg go virgin.

Lo and behold, upon finishing, my Right leg was hot, tingly and warm almost in a kinky, sex-toy kind of way, while my Left leg was like a cold wet fish.

Final verdict: I am probably going to be smearing most of my body in Greyhound Juice 30 minutes prior to Ironman Coeur D' Alene.

Get yours here, at a discount (I used the Original Formula) and tell them that Ben Greenfield sent you. If you have any left over, it may be useful to spice up the bedroom with your significant other. Just don't burn any body parts off.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Not the World's Greatest Championships, eh?

Welcome to the official, unofficial, semi-official coverage of the ITU World Championship Triathlon, er, Duathlon, in Vancouver, British Columbia....

Just to give you an idea of what it's like to travel with two newborns, I am sitting in the driver's seat typing this entry with the computer in my lap, as we go on 2 hours parked in line at the USA/Canada border...River is screaming in the backseat and Jessa breastfeeds Terran. We'll switch soon. Jessa will write and I will breastfeed. There are some Japanese people playing soccer in the border-crossing park, and they may want to take a turn also.

People kept telling us we were brave to take an international vacation this soon with the two little guys, but I thought they were talking about the dangerous child kidnapping rings in Canada, not the fact that traveling and sleeping in strange places makes babies think their perfect little world is falling to pieces. But they'll learn.

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The journey began out of Washington at 9am on Thursday morning. Driving to the Canadian border was fast and smooth, with a couple feeding stops for the kids. Here are the little guys crossing the border on their first official road trip:



That little white monument is the an ancient Canadian child sacrifice temple. How quaint.

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We arrived at our bed and breakfast soon after crossing the border. I didn't get any pictures of the place, but it was a gorgeous, perfectly decorated Victorian style mansion, with immaculate cleanliness and a very sweet but insistingly neat hostess named Anne, who immediately recommended that we remove our shoes, and then followed us along, blotting drips of water from the floor and picking up tiny grass clippings that our shoes left by the door. She definitely raised an eyebrow at the kids, but what the heck, I thought. I warned her we had babies in tow.

She recommended dinner up the street at place called The Locust. It was tasty. Once again, as if on cue, the waitress approached our table, eyed the little guys, and said, "You two are SO brave!". What, for ordering the Ahi medium-rare, or bringing a baby into a restaurant? It's not like they're badgers. They're not going to gnaw your legs off if we let them out of their little kennels.

We had her snap a picture of us with the guys:



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The next morning, we awoke for a French Toast breakfast, prepared by Anne, complete with gluten-free, non-preservative bread, organic fruit, and a lecture on probiotics and the benefits of soaking and sprouting beans. And I thought I was a health nut. After breakfast, I hopped on my Specialized Pro, sporting my fantastic new gear from Avia, and headed down to the race venue to check out the course and register.

Upon arriving at the race expo, there appeared to a be a slight amount of disorganization. Not only were most of the expo tents completely empty, with vendors deserting their booths because of the torrential downpour of rain, but when I inquired to a race organizer where I might find bike tech to change out my brake pads, they simply shrugged and said, "I think I saw some guy running around here earlier, but they don't have much. You should go to a bike shop."

May I insert here that this is the freaking ITU World Championships and the athletes have literally paid AN ARM AND LEG to be here and compete. We are supposed to be pampered with team doctors, massage therapists, chiropractors, bike mechanics, and guides, none of which seemed to exist when I showed up. They remained ghosts the entire weekend.

So I cycled around Vancouver, found a bike shop, changed out my brake pads in their wrench room, and went out to ride one 10K loop of the 40K bike course in Stanley Park. After finishing my ride in the rain-soaked conditions, I met up with Roger Thompson in the registration tent, and we headed up to the Team USA meeting.

The meeting was a bit of a joke. In a hotel ballroom stuffed with about 300 Team USA athletes, the Team USA officials held up barely legible handdrawn posters explaining the race course and map. All that was missing was little stick figure runners. Not only was the course slightly confusing, but c'mon people. This this the World Championships. A 6th grader could have figured out how to broadcast a Powerpoint.

BIG: We found out at the team meeting that due to low water temperatures, they decided to shorten the swim from 1500m to 900m. Hmm. Not happy about that. I'm a swimmer. Grow some hair on your chest or drop out of the race if you can't swim in cold temperatures. It's part of the competition, people.

The meeting ended with an invitation to the Team USA party, with the caveat that if we brought *anybody*, they would need to pay 50 bucks. Nice.

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I met Jessa after the Team USA meeting and we grabbed some lunch, then went for a walk down to the beach, where I decided to check out this whole frigid water temperature thing. Throwing on my Blue Seventy Helix wetuit, with no cap, gloves, or booties, I headed down to the Pacific Ocean and jumped in.

Compared to Liberty Lake and Lake Coeur D' Alene, the water was B-A-L-M-Y. I immediately thought, "Are you kidding me? They shortened the swim for this?". Seriously, it was actually warm once I started swimming hard with the wetsuit on. I think of myself as a decent swimmer, and much stronger this year than previous years, so I was disappointed about getting robbed of 600 meters of the swim. That immediately steals away a few seconds of my advantage, which, in a race this brief, quickly adds up.

I also brought my bicycle over to bike check-in. This also appeared to be some kind of a weird joke. The ITU has pretty strict rules on bike geometries and equipment. But what appeared to be a twelve year old girl with braces and a ponytail took a glance at my bike and waved me on through. OK...glad to know they're policing this thing so carefully.

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Despite not having payed the exorbitant Team USA shuttle bus fees, Jessa and I managed to sneak onto the Team USA bus and catch a ride back up to the host hotel later that evening, so we could avoid a 3 mile walk back to our car. It's amazing what you can do with twins in tow (Bus Driver: "Hey, nice babies!"; Us, "Yeah, boy are they ever excited to hop on this bus, well we better hurry!"). I felt slightly guilty, but the bus had about 30 extra seats, so what the heck.

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I shaved my legs that night. I'm know for being the hairy legged caveman at the races, but research does show I'd shave a few seconds, which doesn't matter in Ironman, but in this race, could come in handy. The bathtub had alot of hair in it. Yes, that's right, matted hair and blood, everywhere. I emerged victorious from my battle with the razors, legs freshly shaved and madly burning.

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The next morning, I woke at 6:15, hurriedly gathered my race belongings and head down to the race start. It was a blustery day. After weaving through the crowded downtown streets of Vancouver for 15 minutes, I thought, "I wonder what water conditions will be like today?". A second thought immediately followed, "I wonder why I left my WETSUIT hanging in the SHOWER back in the BED AND BREAKFAST?"

With the kids hooting in the backseat, we flipped a U-Turn and gunned it back to the B&B, grabbed the wetsuit, then headed back to the race, arriving at the transition area in a nick of time (each wave start is assigned specific times to "check-in" to transition, and a barely made it). This was just the beginning of a very weird day.

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Quickly, I threw together my transition area, squirmed into my wetsuit, and sprinted to the swim start, which was *nearly a mile run* down a concrete path. You would've thought the ITU would have prepared athlete shuttles or perhaps a more proximate swim start, but this wasn't the case.

In retrospect, I should have brought an extra pair of shoes.

Already, several waves had started their swims, and as I danced down the gravel-laden path, I watched athletes fighting against the swells in the Pacific Ocean, created by strong winds in English Bay. FUN. I was stoked. I love difficult swims and was excited to potentially come out of the water in a strong place.

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Breathless, I arrived at the swim start. Just as I was preparing to jump into the ocean and begin warming up for my start, a voice came booming across the loudspeaker, "ATTENTION ATHLETES, DUE TO INCLEMENT WEATHER CONDITIONS, WE HAVE POSTPONED EACH WAVE BY 1 HOUR."

What?

It was true. My 9:15 start suddenly became a 10:15 start.

Hundreds of belated swim start athletes how huddled in the "Athletes Lounge" (basically a big circus tent), wrapped in silver space-age warming blankets and waiting to swim. Meanwhile, the other athletes in the waves who had already started were out racing on the course. This was turning into an interesting scenario.

Jessa was already at the swim start ready to watch me begin, and now was stuck in the athletes lounge with our two crying, hungry babies. We found a corner of the tent and a chair, and set-up an area for her to feed while waiting for the delayed swim start. What'll it be, a powerbar harvest bar, or a boob?



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Fifteen minutes later, the voice boomed over the loudspeaker again, "ATTENTION ATHLETES, THE SWIM HAS BEEN CANCELLED AND WE WILL NOW BE RACING A DUATHLON. PLEASE HEAD BACK TO THE TRANSITION AREA. YOU WILL BE RUNNING A 3K, FOLLOWED BY YOUR 40K BIKE AND 10K RUN. YOUR WAVE WILL START 90 MINUTES AFTER IT'S ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED TIME."

Hell broke loose.

Six hundred athletes huddled in the tent now rose as one body and began trampling each other in their haste (excitement?) to go back to transition. Seemed alot of the non-swimmer skinny athletes with tiny shoulders were especially happy about this scenario. I was amazed at the number of people who seemed *relieved* not to have to swim! Are you kidding me? GROW A PAIR. If you can't swim, then go home. There's a reason the sport is called triathlon. Sure, one cool thing about triathlon is the fact that anybody can compete, but at the World Championship of Triathlon, you don't make exceptions for weak swimmers. That's why it's the World Championships. These are supposed to be the best of the best, in all 3 sports.

Later, I found out that lifeguards were also complaining about people getting blown towards shore and ending up on rocks. So maybe part of it was the lifeguards. Either way, I was royally pissed about not getting to swim. Guess I could have left my wetsuit at home after all.



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I slammed a bottle of Nuun and a Bumblebar for my "second" breakfast and headed back down to the original transition, Jessa and twins in tow. My wetsuit was warm, so I kept it on. Good for something. Thanks, Blue Seventy.



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Finally, close to 2 hours after the originally scheduled start, I was standing in line with 109 of the best 25-29 year old age groupers in the world, waiting for the 3K run start. Scores of countries were represented, including Mexico, Brazil, Canada, New Zealand, Great Britain, USA, Australia. No longer needing a wetsuit, I was now clad in my official Team USA uniform.



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There goes the starting signal and we're off!



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Granted, none of us knew where the hell we were going. The race officials simply pointed and questioningly said, "That-a-way?" Somehow, during the one hour postponed swim delay, the ITU had thrown together some haphazard 3K with randomly placed timing mats and cones. It wasn't until after the race and looking at the completely muddled computer results that I found out how "thrown together" the whole thing really was.

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I'm not a duathlete. Don't claim to be. I hate running "cold", meaning prior to my swim-bike. My 3K legs felt stale and I stayed "middle-of-the-pack" throughout. I think I was about 39th heading into bike transition, which was a complete cluster because we all piled into bike transition within about a two minute time span.

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Once again, similar to my last race, the bike felt fantastic. I'm riding the Specialized Transition Pro, from Wheelsport East. Here's how my bike splits progressed (thanks to Phaedra Cote for sending this to me):

1st 10k bike: 9:56 39th place
2nd 10k bike: 24:17 gross time 15th place
3rd 10k bike: 38:15 8th place
Bike finish: 51:57 (1:41 back from leader) 6th place

As you can see, I had one of the fastest bike splits of the day, passing 32 people in my division. I FLEW. If my bike feels this good for Ironman Coeur D' Alene, and I think it will, my race will be dynamite.

I had 300 calories of tasty mango-flavored GU Sport Drink in my aero bottle, but I barely touched it. I was too busy trying to steer.

This was because the bike course was another cluster. About 1200 people were packed into a four lap, 10K bike course that was poorly marked and poorly officiated. Drafting abounded. There were large packs of riders everywhere. Several times, I came across riders completely wiped out on the side of the road.

At one point, as I climbed a gradual grade on the backside of the course, an ACTUAL OFFICIAL ON A MOTORCYCLE ordered me to move to the right because, GET THIS PEOPLE, there was a *pack* of riders coming up behind me. Are you kidding me? This guy is supposed to be officiating the drafting and he's actually "paving the way" for the packs. Unbelievable.

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I came into 10K transition pretty excited, because I knew I was flying on the bike and I had a chance to run in my sleek new black Avia racing flats. I slammed a GU Espresso Gel and came rumbling out of transition.

Unfortunately, although I ran a 37:19 10K (right around my anticipated speed), I was disappointed. The aid stations were completely disorganized, with untrained people nervously clutching cups of gatorade and water as 75 year old age grouper women stumbled through the aid stations clutching this way and that for water and 25 year old competitors sprinted past, trying not to knock them or the volunteers over. People weren't even letting go of the water cups, they were just kinda holding them as you tried to wrestle the cup out of their hands. The 10K was a confusing 3 loop course, again littered with random timing mats and confused race officials.

Get this: several people in my division didn't even run all 3 loops. They just did 1 or 2 loops (anywhere from 4K to 7K) and then sprinted through to the finish. Hell, the winner in my division appears to have run a 22 minute 10K according to the online results. Yeah, rrrright.

Of course, there was ONE solitary person standing at the Y between the finish line and the loops, with absolutely no clue who was going where or which loop anyone was on. It was a complete fiasco. I grew more and more disappointed during the run as I realized that nobody seemed to know what was going on.

This race was similar to shouting fire in a crowded movie theatre. Except the movie theatre was the stage for what was supposedly the most important race in the world.

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I crossed the finish line in 1:44:02. According to the online race results, I was 24th out of 109. I don't know how many people ahead of me skipped parts of the run. I'd be happy if I was top 20 for my World placing, but we'll see. After the race I popped some Recoverease, iced up my slightly sore knees (hey, I've got Ironman in 2 weeks!) and met back up with Jessa and the boys.



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We hung out for awhile and made a few feeble attempts to interpret the posted race results. While Roger Thompson and I stood in the tent scratching our heads over the completely messed up results (included 14 minute transitions?), a race official approached and KICKED US OUT of the athlete's lounge, because they need to have a race official meeting. Um...OK? Isn't this the ATHLETES LOUNGE? We hung out on the beach for awhile (in what turned out to be a gorgeous sunny afternoon) then headed back 10 blocks to the car which Jessa had parked after dropping me off at the race that morning.

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We got back to the car and it wasn't there.

"Jessa, are you sure this is where you parked?!"

"Yes."

"Crap."

I spent the next hour calling police stations and towing companies in an attempt to track down our car, spending my entire month's mortage on the wonderful and generous 53 cent/minute international cell phone plan from ATT.

I spent the next month's mortgage paying parking tickets and towing fees after riding my bike across the entire city of Vancouver to retrieve our car.

Much thanks to Mark Hodgson and the Roger Thompson family for helping take care of Jessa and the boys, then feeding us after I hunted down our rig.

Wow. What a day.

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That evening, the kids were grumpy from their long day in the sun at Stanley Park at the race. They squirmed and wiggled and screamed and cried there in the immaculate bed and breakfast room. They have thrush also, a type of yeast infection of the mouth. Jessa has been treating their thrush with Violet Gentian. It is like India Ink. Anything it touches, it immediately stains. The insides of their mouths stay purple for days after she applies just the tiniest drop.

While feeding the kids, Jessa accidentally elbowed the bottle of Violet Gentian and sent if flying across the room, where it splattered the walls, cupboards, bedside furniture and carpet of our perfect little B&B room.

We looked at each other in horror. It was late, we couldn't buy cleaning supplies, and we had no clue what we would tell Anne. I shuddered at what she would do upon seeing this disaster. We spent an hour trying to clean the mess, then decided to just let her know in the morning and hope we wouldn't get thrown in some kind of cruel Canadian prison.

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So that's about it. Who know when (and if) we'll ever see official results from this race. Who knows if Anne can ever forgive us. I'll never again judge a race by its cover, or an innocent bottle of baby medicine by its label. I was excited for this race because I thought it'd be an amazing venue. But no matter the prestige or showcase nature of the event, sometimes it ain't that way.

We'll spend the next few months paying off parket tickets, towing fees, and room refinishing bills.

But you know what?

It's all worth it, because life is one great big adventure and we're living it.

Over and out,
Ben




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Saturday, May 31, 2008

Roctaned Myself Today



Today, on a 120 mile bike ride, I experimented with Roctane Ultra Endurance Energy Gel. If it worked for me today, my plan was to use it during Ironman Coeur D' Alene, and I'll share how during my Ironman strategy blog, which you'll find appears about 2-3 days prior to the big race on June 22. This ensures that my competitors won't steal my secrets (unless they break a cardinal rule of endurance sports and decide to try it in racing before trying it in training).

(P.S. Another cardinal rule of endurance sports is that if your competitor asks you to zip up their wetsuit, then pretend like you're helping, but instead drop a fistful of sand down their butt crack and run away.)

Here's what's in it (I copied this from the GU website, so sue me):

• We start with GU’s superior 80%/20%mix of complex/simple carbohydrates that provide quick and sustained energy. GU’s original recipe also provides an herbal blend of anti-inflammatory chamomile and stomach calming ginger, along with caffeine to metabolize fat.

• From there we increased the amount of Histidine, an essential amino acid, to act as a buffer and slow the energy-sapping lactic acid build-up in muscles.

• We mixed in higher levels of citrates (Potassium Citrate, Sodium Citrate, and Citric Acid) to help speed the conversion of carbohydrates into energy molecules. Like Histidine, these citrates also help mitigate acid build-up.

• We also added more of the branched chain amino acids (BCAA’s) Leucine, Valine, and Isoleucine to serve as another fuel source, aid in recovery and help maintain mental focus and reduce fatigue by limiting the central nervous system’s production of serotonin.

• A key new ingredient is the amino acid complex Ornithine Alpha-Ketoglutarate (OKG) which limits the body’s tendency to break down muscle protein tissue during extremely hard training and racing days. OKG keeps you going longer and promotes a speedier recovery.

OK, whatever dudes.

So did it work? Yes, wonderfully.

"Well then", you ask, "How the hell do you take 1500 calories of gel out on the course with you and maintain aerodynamics, speed, and comfort?"

I'd tell you how I do it, but then I'd have to kill you. I *will* demonstrate with pictures and verbage in my pre-race strategy report.

The only people that get to find out before then are my coached athletes, and my twin boys, who can't understand me. I know this because I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to them tonight, but substituted nasty, nasty, filthy lyrics about a corpse that a little boy found rotting in the woods, and they just lay there blinking and yawning. Bless their hearts.

Ben

Psst....did you get your t-shirtyet?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Team Greenfield



Observe the logo above. This eye-catching gem, designed by my wife and modeled after the tattoo on my upper back, is now featured on the front of the Ironman 2008 Team Greenfield t-shirts.

A shirt is $10. Click here to reserve your shirt!

It'd be awesome to see some of my homies out there cheering me on at Ironman Coeur D' Alene, Canada and Hawaii with the t-shirts.

And, yes, you can spill beer on it while watching Ironman, as long as you save some for me after the race. Just click here to get your shirt and I'll make sure it ends up in your hands in time for the race!

Ben

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Stinky Spa



I have a confession to make. I did not shower while at the Wildflower triathlon. At least, not until the Sunday morning after the race.

So how did I manage to survive 3 days in the wilderness without becoming a walking dirtclod?

I discovered these eucalyptus infused refreshing wipes that literally melted away the dirt, germs and grime in one simple swipe and left me feeling like a day at the spa. Because I spend lots of days at spas, and I'd know. Used these things morning, noon and evening and they worked great.

They're called Action Wipes. Good stuff. Check 'em out at www.actionwipes.com.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Wildflower

For those of you who care, this used to be called the Jamba Juice Wildflower Triathlon, but Jamba Juice the smoothie company was replaced by Avia the shoe company.

Shoes are not as tasty as smoothies. A cold shoe does not feel good in your mouth on a hot day. Unlike previous year's events, you do not receive free shoes after the race in up to three flavors of your choice.

Nonetheless, in my opinion Avia turned out to be a much improved major sponsor for the race. I mean, c'mon people, shoe folks just know more about sports than do smoothie folks.

This was a big race for me. I really wanted to do well, and my goal was to crack the top 8 overall, which would be really fantastic for a race of this caliber, reputation, field, and size. I tapered for this Half-Ironman race, which I haven't yet done for any races this season. I got consistent massages from Tim at Therapeutic Approach Massage. I carbohydrate loaded, using sweet potatoes, oatmeal, Bumblebars, and any other gluten-low carbohydrate I could get my hands on, so I was eating 85% carbohydrate diet by Friday (the day before race day).

I was a lean, man-sized, well-massaged, breadstick.

My strategy for this race was to swim consistently and with focus, using the new swim techniques I learned from Peter Reid and Chuckie V down in California at Solvang Triathlon camp 4 weeks ago. Chuckie told me I can be first out of the water at Ironman and that is now my new goal. I will achieve this goal by either practicing in my races leading up to Ironman or by growing my toenails longer. Hopefully the former.

My strategy was to ride a much lighter and more aerodynamic bike than I have been riding in my races thus far, and to ride at a consistent power on the highly undulating course (meaning ride the downhills and uphills at similar power or perceived exertion). Ian Dewar, the Specialized guru, was kind enough to allow me to ride a Transition S-Works. I also practiced consistent power output on the Computrainer.

My strategy was to not repeat the mistakes of 2007 and actually allow early jack-rabbit half marathoners to pass me in the first 6-7 miles while I stayed relatively aerobic, rather than attempting to match their pace out of the gate and suffer later in the race. OK, this basically means I didn't want to puke in a trash can like at Troika half ironman.

I came to the Wildflower festival, a massive enclave of tents and triathletes, on Thu night. A huge thanks to Markham Homes for the posh first class flight and spacious leg room, and to Bumblebar, for the highly efficient Toyota Prius that purred like a kitten with the gas pedal floored at breakneck highway speeds of approximately 22 miles per hour. Arriving at camp around midnight, I realized that although the weather is very hot (medical tent capable) during the day, it is very cold (shrinking gonad capable) during the night. I do not like to lie awake at 4am deliberating whether to go outside to empty my screaming bladder or to stay in my warm sleeping bag and stay awake trying to hold back the floodgates.

The Fellowship of Christian Athletes was kind enough to allow me to stay at their campsite and use a sleeping bag. In exchange, I was required to become a monk and castrate myself on the crest of a high hill. No, actually, these folks are awesome and I had the cool opportunity to assist at the FCA booth during the expo on Friday and to pray with other athletes at the Iron Prayer on Friday night. It's very humbling to be reminded how very small we are in the very large scheme of eternity, and before a big race even more meaningful.

Sipped nuun all day long to stay hydrated. They have a really fantastic new product that will hopefully hit retailers like Whole Foods Markets very soon. It's all natural hydration and electrolytes, in yuppie flavors like Goji Berry Green Tea Lemon Ginger. Or something. Anyways, it rocks. I also lived on my chocolate Bumblebars and decaf coffee (yes I wean myself from caffeine beginning 4 days prior to any big race).

I felt great on Saturday morning. Perfectly rested, in part thanks to Millennium Sports Somnidren GH Sleep Aid product. I put one tablespoon under my tongue and I'm literally out of commission within 10 minutes. So sound asleep that I wouldn't even know if I crapped my own pants, just like my little boys at home. I also loaded with Millennium Sports Cordygen VO2 product prior to this race.

Transition set-up was smooth. Warm-up was smooth. I swear, it was just a perfect day leading up to the race. On these type of days, I'm always careful of Murphy's Law, which states that when everything is going right, something really, really, really bad will happen. So based on the smoothness of the morning, I expected a set of deer antlers to pop out of my stomach, or something crazy like that that would leave me unable to wear a wetsuit or ride a bike in the aero position, or run without veering off course to chase the female deer.

The swim was fantastic. I was wearing the new Blue Seventy Helix Wetsuit and it literally felt molded to my body. I started the swim a bit slow, but ended it swimming through most of my age group and came out of the water with a time of 26:54. This is how I usually swim. I should probably come out faster in the future so I can draft on those leaders, rather than letting them open up a gap that I consistently gain on but never close. Something to work on. By the way, I used the Element goggles with the Metallic lenses. The visibility on those are unparalleled. I wore them all the way home on the airplane after the race, and I could see just fine. I don't know why the flight stewardess kept asking me if I also wanted a flotation vest.

OK, back to the race. First transition! Grabbed my super light, unbreakable TN sunglasses, strapped on my helmet and headed out on the bike!

Well folks, all I can say about the Specialized Transition S-Works is that it is the most clean, comfortable, smooth power I have ever experienced in my life while pedaling an object with two wheels. From the minute I ran it out of T1 and took off up Beach Hill, the first steep hill out of transition, I never looked back. As soon as your drop into the forward rotated aero position on this machine, everything feels like a downhill. And that's a lot to say for a very difficult, hilly, Wildflower bike course. I knew the bike was really sailing when, at 25 miles into the 56 mile bike loop, I was already beginning to ride through the *men's* pro field, who started the swim 10 minutes before me. The bike felt so strong and smooth that I kept wanting more gears! I don't care what you say about the whole "engine vs. bike" argument. This bike made the day for me. Period.

I was riding it as a loaner from Specialized, and Ian had dialed in all my geometries earlier that week, so it was set up with the same seat height, reach to the aerobars, seat fore-aft position, and drop as my home bike (A 2007 Specialized Transition Expert). We're hoping that my actual bike, a very comparable Specialized Transition Pro, will arrive in time for Blue Lake Championships on June 14 and Ironman Coeur D' Alene on June 21st. During the bike portion, I used a Zipp 606 Wheelset from WheelSport East, 1 aero bottle of clean water and 1 down tube bottle of 650 calories of Hammer Gel Perpetuum, and 3 GU gels taped to my top tube. I also had a film canister full of Endurolyte tabs, enough for 4 per hour. I have to say, I really missed my comfy Cee Gees aeropads, and the shoulders were a bit sore afterwards from not having those pillows!

Bike split was 2:32:28.

T2 was smooth and perfect. I split myself at 3:03 going into the run. My legs felt very fresh starting off, but I remembered my race strategy and held back. I knew that there were 4 or 5 age-groupers ahead of me, based off what people were telling me coming out of transition. It was torture for me to not run hard and try to chase them down, but I forced myself to stay as aerobic as possible through all the hills up to mile 6 and a half or so. I maintained 50-100 calories of GU gel every 2-3 miles, along with 1 Endurolyte capsule. The run course is extremely hilly and difficult, and I knew it would be key to stick to my plan, like sticky rice. Or apple juice. Or the floor of a movie theater. Or me, after camping for 3 days without a shower.

Finally, 6 and a half miles came around and I took off like a bat out of hell. Or an omelette off a greased pan. Or a baby out of a cervical canal. Or me, out of any Orlando Bloom film. I love my sticky and fast analogies.

I passed three age groupers when I actually started moving on the run. It felt great to "open up", even though it hurt, like a 10 on a scale of 1-10 as I made it through the last 1.5 miles. I pretty much quit eating at mile 9 because I knew I would need as much blood flow as possible to my muscles.

As I flew down Lynch Hill, the final descent, I knew this was going to be a great race. I didn't even look at my watch for my splits on the latter part of this run. I didn't care. I knew it was good. I also knew it was good that I reverse tied my elastic shoelaces so my feet didn't explode out the front of my toebox on that last downhill.

Final results run: 1:31:09. 4th age group, 5th overall.

After the race, I sucked down 8 Recoverease, a steak sandwich, and about 8 pints of gelato in a comedically oversized waffle cone. I think I also ate a small sparrow that was nestled amongst the waffle conage, but it was hard to tell at that point.

I would have to say that one of the best parts about the whole weekend experience was being a part of the massive multi-sport festival that takes place when more than 5000 participants are camped at the edge of Lake San Antonio for one big Woodstock style party. Saturday night after the race, I ended up at the Avia party with world champions Chris McCormack and Sam McGlone, as well as other triathlon legends like Scott Tinley and Kenny Souza. It was great to sit around, eat smores, and rub elbows with the most talented athletes in the sports.

So that's a wrap! Next race is the June 7 ITU World Championships in Vancouver, an even MORE important race than Wildflower, and a very spectacular venue.