Prisoner of a Wetsuit - Tiger Triathlon Race Report

Originally, after Lake Stevens, I had planned on completing avoiding races until Coeur D' Alene Scenic Challenge. But I must say, I cannot not race. It's kinda the lifeblood of my training...if I don't have a race on the horizon, I live the life of deep fried twinkies and re-runs of The Office.

So despite a nagging hamstring injury, I woke up at 4am this past Saturday morning and ventured out to Colville, WA for the Tiger Triathlon Quarter Ironman. It's kinda like the Quarter Pounder, with none of the beef, but more of the hot buns. You can quote me on that for next year's t-shirt.

On my way up to the triathlon, I attacked my swollen hamstring with a bag of frozen peas, and another one of my new secret weapons, the Muscletrac, which is like a luxury version of those massage sticks that you rub on a sore muscle. As you can see, unlike the smooth muscle sticks, the Muscletrac has rotating cogs that actually work deep into the adhesions and allow you to really target a specific area. And it's a perfect size. I recommend adding it to your rehabilitation and injury prevention arsenal. Here's a picture:



Pretty cool, huh? Between that, the frozen peas, and a bit of Greyhound juice to warm the muscle, the hamstring felt OK by the time I got to Colville.

Everything went smoothly up to the final five minutes before the race, when I asked a race volunteer to "zip me up". As soon as they laid hands on me, I knew it might be a bit tricky for them to pull the wetsuit zipper down. Even thought the B70 Helix is the fastest wetsuit on the planet, you really have to be a bit rough zipping it down. Anyways, they gingerly tugged on the zipper and got it stuck halfway down. Not their fault! You just typically want a wetsuit-wearing person to zip your wetsuit, the same way that you would want a person with a driver's license to drive your car, or a person with a medical license to remove your swollen gallbladder.

So now, with 3 minutes left until the start of the race, I turned to my Tri-Fusion teammates to try and save the day. With 4 people tugging and pulling and squeezing on the suit, we finally got it to the point where it could be zipped down. As I sprinted down to the lake, the guy that actually was able to pull it up mumbled something about the top of the zipper, but I didn't quite catch it. If it wasn't about my gallbladder, I didn't care.

The swim was smooth. I drafted a bit off Michael Berquist on the first 1/2, since I wasn't warmed up and wanted to avoid "blowing up", then opened up and swam hard for the second half. Coming out of the water in 2nd place, just behind Joe Byers, I figured I was in a pretty good spot.

As I ran up the swim exit ramp and attempted to unzip my wetsuit, there was a bit of a snag. The thing WOULDN'T COME OFF. So I'm running past volunteers, shouting, "Someone please help me take my wetsuit off!" I could just imagine having to mount my bike in the wetsuit and complete the race wearing a big piece of black rubber. But I fumbled with it for what seemed like 5 minutes, which in transition is really about 2 seconds, then gave it one final pull and I was free.

In the meantime, Michael and Joe were riding away. I hopped on my Specialized Transition and gave chase. I caught Joe after about a mile, and caught Michael about a mile later. Typically when I pass, I really stomp for a bit to clear people off my wheel, but was unable to shake Michael. Despite what felt like a solid ride into a headwind, I came off the bike only about 5 seconds ahead of him. The few times I glanced back I actually kept expecting him to make a pass (due to his proximity), but it never happened.

My run felt decent. The Tiger course has a good share of grass and gravel, and even a track finish, so it keeps things interesting. But Michael ran faster and took the day with a new course record. I managed to snag the second place slot. But it was well worth the trip up to Colville, especially after eating a homemade bagel-peanut butter-cream cheese sandwich at the finish line. For those of you who read my advice at http://www.bengreenfieldfitness.com, you know that this meal has the nutritional value of a Krispy Kreme special. But hey, it was better than quarter pounder. And it felt good not having to eat it in a wetsuit.

We'll see if I keep up this habit of racing instead of training. It's fun. And I'm all about fun. Big thanks to all my sponsors, who make fun possible. Until next time...

Burning Balls & Turtleheads: Lake Stevens 70.3 Race Report

Before I fill you in on Lake Stevens 70.3, please do me a huge favor and add my new website: http://bengreenfieldfitness.com to your blog links. Share it with your friends! Hang it on the wall! Feed it to your dog!

I'll owe you one. This site will remain my race report site, but BenGreenfieldFitness will have more blogging, podcasting, and other freakishly cutting-edge content.

So Lake Stevens is an interesting little town. We (my wife and our twin chihuahuas) actually stayed in Bothell, thanks to the Steve and Tia Rupe family and their hospitality.

The race time was a ungodly 6:30AM. But since the bikes have to be checked in the night before, you just kinda show up, put on your wetsuit, and race.

I made sure to use my special Greyhound muscle warming cream and in my haste of preparation, put it on *before* applying vaseline to the rest of my body. Yes, vaseline is what I use when I don't have any Bodyglide handy. It helps prevent chafing and keeps the wetsuit slipping and sliding off your body as you slip and slide into transition from the swim.

So anyways, I also put vaseline on other more intimate places as well to help with chafing from the bicycle seat. But my muscle warming balm was still on my hands when I did so. So about 5 minutes before the swim, my testicles were seized with cayenne pepper fury. Nothing to make you swim fast like the feeling of little piranhas nipping your crotch.

The pros started 5 minutes prior to the age group waves. Lake Stevens is unique in that the buoy line can be seen under the water, so you really don't have to sight or look where you're going. It's just like staring at the bottom of the pool, except without random lost goggles and sunken YMCA membership cards. Just dead fish and rotting seaweed.

So I was a bit scared going into this race that I wouldn't be fully recovered from Ironman Coeur D' Alene 2 weeks ago. I've had no hard workouts since, not because I didn't want to, but because my body simply wouldn't cooperate. So this would be the first time I really pushed myself outside what my body wanted to do, other than when I smoked the pack of cigarettes last Monday and tattooed my Grandma's name on my left inner thigh while I was still on my nicotine high.

Off we go. The swim felt OK, but I experienced that breathlessness you get when you haven't been working out hard, and then say, "Hey lungs, time to get really big, really fast." That feeling stayed with me the whole swim, but from what I could tell, I came out of the water with the leaders, for the most part. Of course, there are always a few Mermen up ahead. This is what I call the triathletes who have great big upper bodies and swim like mermaids, but get out of the water and hey, guess what, no legs!

So I came out onto the bike all excited and hot under the collar to go hard, but it wasn't to be. It took about 20 miles before my legs felt even slightly warm, and twice leading up to that point I nearly quit and limped back into transition, thinking I was completely smoked from Coeur D' Alene. But I kept pedaling, and eventually the legs came around.

I rode up on the back of the pros by the end of the first loop and finally encountered the first water station after being out of water for nearly 15 minutes. As I zoomed past and attempted to snag a water bottle, I missed the first, missed the second, finally grabbed the third, and was 50 yards away from the station before realizing it was about 1/4 full.

I spent the next 5 miles of the second loop riding up on fellow cyclists and asking for water. Some female age grouper (bless your heart, you know who you were - me, the guy on the black-red Specialized pro, you, the woman on the grey bike with the yellow shorts) gave me a full bottle. Amped up that I was no longer going to dehydrate, I pressed on.

To my amazement, I came off the bike strong, and in first place among the age-groupers. I think the bike course was slightly long, but I didn't mind because it's easier to bike after Ironman than it is to run! As a matter of fact, I passed many of the pro men and headed out on the run with confidence that I need to throw down a conservative half-marathon to qualify for the World Championships in Clearwater.

3 miles down the road, however, I thought back to the swim dock at 6:30am, and how I felt like I had to go the bathroom while I stood there in my wetsuit. Not a warm-me-up pee, but a nice big number Two. I had managed to hold it in the whole swim and bike, but once the body starts jarring up and down during the run gait, stuff doesn't stay tucked up inside very long. As Fat Bastard would put it, I had a turtlehead poking out.

With no porta-potty in site, I made a beeline for a group of trees in a field, yanked down my pants, and let 'er rip.

60 second later, I was off and running, with very little time lost, all things considered. Besides, I run much faster when I'm not massively clinching my butt-cheeks.

It felt really, really good, people. That's why I'm blogging about it. Probably the highlight of the weekend, really.

My run was a bit slow. If you scroll through the results, it's obvious that I really need to work on my half-marathon pacing. I was passed by one age-grouper from Argentina at about mile 10 (he beat me by well over a minute, so he was obviously flying), and ended up 11th overall, 2nd amateur, 1st in my division.

Here are my splits:

Total Time: 4:24:03.64
Swim: 28:47
Bike: 2:24:45
Run: 1:28:11

So anyways, that means I get to go race Half Ironman World Championships in Clearwater, Florida in November!

Hopefully I'll be able to hunt down some pics of this race and get them up. In the meantime, remember to go to www.bengreenfieldfitness.com and PLEASE link to it from your blog if you get a chance. Thanks!

Ben

Ladies and gentleman, presenting...

I know you've been waiting with baited breath. Have a breathmint - the waiting is over.

The BIG announcement I talked about....

www.bengreenfieldfitness.com is officially open for perusing.

Although bengreenfieldtri.blogspot.com will continue to be a source for race reports and sponsor shout-outs, the new website is going to feature a ton of free fitness, nutrition, and wellness content, product reviews, triathlon coaching advice, podcast interviews, exercise and workout videos and bunch of other content for weight loss, performance, and holistic wellness.

Check it out and subscribe today for free!

Please, please, please - do me a huge favor and add the new blog to your list of favorites and share it with your friends. I promise to offer entertaining, fun and useful content every week. Let's get this new site all over the world wide web!

By the way...

Clarification after getting inquired earlier tonight...when I say "win a race", I'm talking about us among little age grouper dudes. I don't fancy myself anywhere near fast enough to do it in a pro field! Just thought I'd elucidate.

Ironman CDA Race Report

After elbowing my way to the front of the crowd on the beach at 7am Ironman morning, I had one specific goal:

Win the race.

The swim started strong. My plan was to swim consistently, and leave myself fresh for a solid bike. Although it felt like a 56:00 swim pace, I glanced at my watch coming out of the water and it was closer to a 59:00. I thought maybe it was because I only drafted for about 20% of the swim, but later that day, I spoke with a couple pros who were convinced that every swim was slower that day due to a strong current heading out towards the Spokane River. And we all know that pro triathletes are freakin' all-knowing, all-seeing gods, so this must be the case.

After about a 4 minute transition, I hopped on my Specialized Transition Pro and took off. My legs were really popping. I didn't even feel like I had a chain. At the Higgins point turnaround, I counted myself at 19th place and 6 minutes down from the leader, and knew I would catch most of the cyclists ahead, as they looked like swimmers.

And I did.

By mile 85, I was 90 seconds down on the leader and in 3rd place.

Then my world started to go black. I've never bonked in Ironman before, and at 350 calories per hour, thought it would be impossible. But my body immediately started craving solid food, so I pulled over to the mile 90 aid station, completely stopped, and ate 2 bananas, although what I really wanted was a Chicken Crave form Pita Pit, which avocado, and hummus, but no falafel. Light on the tzatziki sauce, please.

Sorry, back to the race...I was wavering back and forth standing at the aid station. It took about 5 minutes for the banana sugar to hit me. On pace to bike a 4:55, I was a bit annoyed at this interruption, but figured I could still make it back in around 5:00.

The legs never really felt right after stopping, and I rolled into T2 at about 5:06. I must say that my legs were shaved and shiny, so at least they *looked* good at this point.

Still, all I had to do was run a 3:09 marathon to win. In all my training runs, I've easily held a 7 minute pace, so figured the race was mine for the taking.

But once again, that's why they call it Ironman. After clicking away 12 to 13 miles at my desired pace, my IT bands gave out and never returned. They died and went to IT Band Heaven, leaving me here on earth to run with my big toes and groin muscles. My pace slowed by nearly a minute every mile, and I managed to drag it into the finish line with a personal record 9:46, somewhere as 12th overall age grouper and 3rd in age group. Top 25! I qualified for Hawaii, but I will be annoyed for weeks that I could have taken the race if I hadn't flubbed up with a couple silly mistakes. Big kudos to the smarter athletes who beat me, including locals Brian Hadley and Troy Nelson. You guys rock.

You know what irks me? Having a race in my grasp and letting it slip away. You know what irks me even more? The fact that I can't sit down to take a crap today without flailing all over the bathroom trying to stabilize my IT-bandless body. Irk.

Hey - big thanks to all my sponsors. Check 'em out on the right side of the page. Next stop, Lake Stevens 1/2 Ironman in two weeks, after a few serious massage sessions and some icing. I'm also going to be trying to win Lake Stevens, so it should be good, and I promise some cool fireworks and fast splits.

Ben

P.S. My next blog post I will officially unveil my special announcement I keep talking about.

Razors, Hacksaws and Ironman Coeur D' Alene 2008

Stay tuned just a *little* bit longer for that big announcement I mentioned in my last post - it's coming! Hint: it involves a boatload of free training and nutrition content from yours truly.

So anyways, before I layout the itinerary for Ironman Coeur D' Alene 2008, I promised I'd elucidate my plan for carrying 9 GU Roctane packs on each half of the bike loop. I'm using a Profile Design Razor bottle that I viciously assaulted with a hacksaw and a roll of duct tape. Here are the gory results:



Geez. That worked out pretty well. Let's look at this just a bit closer.



and yes, that's a perfect little tube-shaped portal in front for my salt tablets. Isn't that cute?



Total cost: Two hacksaw damaged fingers and $70 (yeah, that's a special little expensive carbon cage necessary for the Razor bottle).

For you doubters, I've performed ample beta-testing on rough and undulating terrain with varying amounts of GU Roctane tucked inside, and no casualties to date. And yes, that is one of the fastest bikes in the world - The Specialized Transition Pro, sans Zipp wheelset, courtesy Wheelsport East of Spokane.

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OK, moving on...so here is the official itinerary for those of you who want to know where I'll be on the course and when. Of course, you can also track me on Ironmanlive.com (my race # is 78).

Swim Start: 7am.

Show up early. Parking is tough. The pros start at 6:35, so if you hear a cannon boom around that time, don't freak out and think you missed the age grouper start. Just keep your pants on and hustle to Coeur D' Alene City Park, where us age groupers will be shuffling out to the beach. Bring your stilts, as it's tough to see over the teeming masses, but if you get there on time and get a good seat, it's worth it. I'm the guy in the light blue swim cap and the Blue Seventy Helix wetsuit. It's like playing Where's Waldo, but every person on the entire page has striped shirts and reading glasses.

I'll slam 1 GU Espresso Flavored gel just prior to race start and then swim hard. I'll swim pretty consistently both loops, but push harder on the way out, because there's a bit of a current that brings you back in.

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Swim to Bike Transition: I plan on coming out of the water around 7:50 to 7:55AM. It will take about 5 minutes to strip my wetsuit, suck down 200 calories of GU Roctane and slam a bit of water and Hammer Gel Endurolytes. I'll be munching on 1/2 of a Powerbar as I go easy on the first 5 minutes of the bike, then I'll bump up the intensity and be taking a GU Roctane every 20 minutes. Pretty straightforward. I've got CeeGees aero bottle full of clear water from which I take in 24-28oz/hr, refilling with water from aid stations.

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Bike: First loop should take me around 2.5 hours, putting me rushing back down through Coeur D' Alene sometime close to 10:30am to start the second loop. Use your cell phone or laptop to find me otherwise, the tracking system is pretty good. If you really want to triangulate and GPS the hell out of this race, then estimate that I'll be traveling 21-23mph.

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Bike Special Needs at 56 mile mark (Higgins Point), around 10:50AM: I'll grab a little baggy with 9 more GU's (the extras are in case I drop any out on the course) and another little canister full of salt tabs. Also, some pain pills for my back if I need them (I threw it out last week and it's been acting up).

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Bike to Run Transition: Should be rolling into City Park again and off the bike around 1:00PM. You'll know I'm on pace if that's when I arrive! I'll take another 3-4 minutes in Transition to change into my Avia racing flats and grab a flask with 500 calories of GU Roctane in one hand and a bottle of salt tabs in the other hand. My goal is to finish off much of those 500 calories by taking a small 50-65 calorie sip at every other aid station and chasing it with a bit of water (I put extra calories in because it's hard to squeeze the last little bit out of that flask). I'll be taking E-caps at the other aid stations, so it'll be a gel sip at miles 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, and a salt capsule at 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12. That will come out to about 230-300 calories per hour and 4 E-caps per hour.

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Run: Should be about 1 hour and 30-40 minutes on that first loop, so I'll be running back by city park sometime about 2:30 or 2:40 in the afternoon. It'll be just under 7 minute miles, hopefully. At special needs, halfway through the run, I'll grab another flask of GU Roctane and another tube of salt tabs.

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Run to Finish: Second half of the run, I'll be pushing for closer to 1:30 than 1:40. About a 6:45 minute mile. Same plan for fueling, although for that last 10K, I'll start grabbing the flat Coke from aid stations, just because hey, it's Coke. And it's flat. What a tasty treat.

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So that will put me at the finish line sometime close to just after 4pm. Best case scenario 4pm. Awesome race 4:05-4:15pm. I'll be happy if I roll in around 4:15 to 4:30pm. If it's gets too far after 4:30, keep looking for me, but it means I'm probably struggling a bit. Unless something goes very wrong, I'll for sure be there by 5:00pm. Same as the starting line, get there early or you might miss it!

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It you still need a Team Greenfield t-shirt, let me know. I can probably hook you up with one sometime Saturday (I'll be around Coeur D' Alene). Thank you to all my sponsors, friends, and family for their support. Time to go kick ass.

Ben

But I'm not a little bitch.

This could be close to my last blog post on this blog ever. That's right. It's gonna be shutting down.

And getting replaced by something much, much bigger and better.

You'll just have to wait around and keep checking back to see what that much bigger and better actually is.

Anyways, so I know the picture is blurry, but that's because I'm going so fast. So fast that the only person who had the time to snap my photo was the the person with the good reflexes but the crappy camera. Way to go, kung-fu cameraperson with the disposable Kodak.

This race was a chance for me to test out my speed and swallow a little intensity pill before the big Ironman on Sunday the 22nd. Part of me thought it might be stupid to go race like a madman the week before Ironman Coeur D' Alene, and the other part of me thought, "What the hell...remember the days of the Bud Light series and the retro Scott Tinley and Dave Scott who raced every weekend, you little bitch."

So I raced.

Entering into the elite wave, which was the first of the day, I smeared Greyhound Juice all over my body as a test and threw my B70 Helix on. The swim was a bit ho-hum for me coming out, and I didn't really snap into action until about halfway through. Sometimes that happens, and it makes me think I need to warm-up longer, or just smear some freaking hair on my chest before the starting pistol. Geez.

Swim: 20:55, 11th overall

The 40K bike was, as was the case in my previous two races, friggin fantastic. I smoked the entire field, except the ultimate winner of the race and my good friend Roger Thompson (who must've had more air pumped into his tires than me). Thanks to Specialized for the Transition Pro.

Bike: 0:56:58, 2nd overall.

I came out of the 10K run knowing I had to put some time into Roger, and completely oblivious that there was another guy behind me who didn't start in the same wave as me, but had swam like 18 minutes and change. I think he rode a JetSki. I ran a 38:13 (yes, the course was slightly long), ended up with a total time of 1:59:19, won my division, and go tthird overall - beaten by Roger and some hairy Grizzly Adams looking dude who somehow swam despite all that hair on his face (Jeffrey Hendersen).

For my physical prowess, I received a medal and a yellow flashlight made in China. Damn, why did I not stick to tennis.

This was one of the bigger races in the Northwest race series, so I was happy with a 3rd and now I'm resting my legs for Ironman.

Hey, a huge thanks to all the sponsors listed on the right side of this blog. Please check out their pages and give them some business. If I had to give a particular shout out to anyone in particular for this race, it would be TN sunglasses, because I don't want to tell you how many people I rode by out of the first transition who were wiping fog off their glasses from the swim water. You can check out the TN's on the link over there, somewhere.

Cheers,
Ben

P.S. Remember, could be the last post. The big announcement is getting close now.